The Five Unwritten Rules of Being a New Yorker (A Guide for First Time Visitors)

Let's dive into the subtle social codes, habits, and instincts that separate locals from visitors.

If this guide doesn’t help, reach out to me before your trip! I have your back.

There’s no official handbook for living in New York City, but if you stay here long enough, you start to understand the unspoken code that separates locals from visitors. These are the little habits, instincts, and social contracts that keep the city moving—things no one teaches you with words, but observable to a keen eye regardless!

Scenes from Chinatown

1. Let’s start with sidewalk etiquette—the closest thing NYC has to traffic laws.

In NYC, the sidewalk is treated like a two-way street. Hug the right side so that oncoming pedestrians can stay in the left lane.

Better still, if you’re traveling in a group of more than two people, don’t walk side-by-side. Split into pairs and walk behind each other. Trust me when I tell you that locals notice (and appreciate) the effort!

Same rules apply to escalators: Walk left, stand right. And, for the sake of humanity, never stop in the middle of the sidewalk to check your phone, take a photo, or ponder the meaning of life. Tourists meander, New Yorkers move with purpose.

(I say this from a place of experience! I’ve done my fair share of absent-minded abrupt stops over the years (always good intentions! Sometimes lapse in judgement though!). You only need to get bumped by the fast-paced local coming up behind you so many times before you get the memo.)

Epic views from one of my favorite bars in NYC.

2. Then there’s the art of spotting celebrities without losing your cool — the rule of thumb is to ignore them, or at least pretend to.

See an A-list actor grabbing coffee in SoHo? That’s actually super cool, it doesn’t happen every day! Scream silently inside your heart!

On the outside? Nod, maybe smile, but don’t stop them for a selfie. In this city, the biggest flex isn’t meeting celebrities—it’s restraining yourself from squealing until you’re out of earshot.

*Full disclosure: Seeing celebrities on the street never gets old.

3. And let’s not forget subway survival skills—because nothing tests your status as a local like public transit.

Rule number one: let people off before you get on. This seems intuitive, but it’s easy to forget in the midst of rush hour. Traffic flows smoother this way!

Rule number two: if the train car is empty, there’s a reason. (There are some rare exceptions, of course. In the photo above, Will and I caught the subway during off-peak hours on the first/last stop on the 1 Line).

Rule number three: headphones in, eyes forward, and never make prolonged eye contact unless you’re 110% sure that’s Mark from high school.

These two were enjoying a cigar break when they spotted my camera. They asked for a photo and voilà.

4. Then there’s the brass tacks nature of locals (who seem to get brassier with every rent hike).

There’s a certain way locals interact, a mix of directness and unexpected camaraderie — which, contrary to popular belief, isn’t as unfriendly as it seems to the untrained eye.

New Yorkers aren’t big fans of small talk, but we’ll have deep, meaningful conversations with strangers in the middle of a grocery aisle. I’ve grown to love this.

Don’t expect a happy greeting when you pass people on the street, but if someone trips on the sidewalk, you’ll see five people rush to help.

5. And finally, the most important rule of all: appreciate this special place for what it is, do your best not to take the city for granted.

Complain about it, sure! But also recognize there’s a privilege in just being part of it — one that comes with energy, opportunity, and a kind of magic you won’t find anywhere else.

Learn the rules, break a few — this city is for the dreamers and the rebels anyways!

Cheers!

Antonina