I’ve been reading and enjoying your emails for about a year now, and for me this is absolute your best at wonderfully and insightfully describing what makes New York City, NYC. So many good descriptions here that are spot on! I also collect and read many books on New York. This essay could be and should be right next to them. I’ll probably print it out actually and keep it with my library. I live in New York City for many decades now, and had a business selling photographs which catered to exactly the feelings you’re describing, and that’s why people bought them. Shockingly for a while there during Covid I actually feared that all of these aspects of New York City were ending , (and I grieved that like the city was a person) so I’m incredibly happy to see they’re alive and well for your new generation. Hallelujah! Grab it with both hands!! - T. Alex Benjamin (Are you on Instagram also)?
Wow, your message made my day. Thank you! I’m so honored that you’d consider printing out the essay and adding it to your NYC library — truly, there’s no higher compliment for someone who loves writing about the city. I can only imagine how great stories you must have after decades here, I would love to see your photos (please share your website if you're comfortable with that!).
Also, I know exactly what you mean about grieving the city like a person during Covid, I completely agree! I'm grateful every day that I get to be here, documenting it through all the changes.
And yes, I am on Instagram! I'm not very active though (haven't logged on since December). You can find me at @antoninapattiz.
Thank you again for reading and for this generous note. It means more than you know.
Wow! this is the best article I've ever read about the "New York feeling". As always say in my comments to you, thanks for share it and thanks for all your words.
Fav paragraph: "People who are a bundle of contradictions. Those who are hopeful but not naive, tough but not unfeeling, independent but craving community. People who willingly trade comfort for the thrill of the unknown."
That means a lot to me, especially coming from a longtime reader like you who always leaves such thoughtful comments. I’m really glad that paragraph stood out to you. It felt like the heart of what I was trying to say, and it’s always special to know it resonated. Thank you so much!!
I understand what it’s like to leave your old life. My Mom was like yours. . When r u coming home?
I left my family in upstate NY & moved to Tn to b with my childhood sweetheart ( definitely not NYC)
We worked for a tour company for 20 yr. Have been to NYC about 60 times. & it always feels like we r coming home. We knew the man who ran u favorite pizza place. & knew where the bellmen at the Edison hotel lived. On our nights off we explored many of the neighborhoods. NYC is the greatest world within a city. You go there not asking what can I do here but rather what do I want to do here.
We r in r mid 70’s. So r trip in Aug. to NYC will be our last 😢😢.
Your latest post was very reflective on life in the city & we get it. You are a great writer & we truly do enjoy your pictures , posts & thoughts
We are happy for that u are able to live your dream
Kathy & Milt, I’m convinced you’re true New Yorkers at heart. What an opportunity you’ve had—60 visits is incredible! I love how you described NYC as a world within a city because that’s exactly how it feels. And I couldn't agree more with this: "You go there not asking what can I do here but rather what do I want to do here."
I'm grateful to be part of your final trip in August in even a small way. But you better believe I’ll be sharing plenty of NYC photos long after your visit. I'll be keeping you in mind while doing so, so we can enjoy the city together. ❤️
And yes, yes, yes to the baby toes, nothing better!
I often find myself reflecting on why I left Michigan for California and why I long to return there. However, I realize that I am not yearning for the past I left behind. The crime and the loss of family members have haunted me one by one for the past 30 years, making it impossible to go back home. I felt stuck in a world I thought I would enjoy, but it turned out to be a nightmare in many ways.
On another note, my adult daughter moved to Oregon and had a baby, a situation I wasn't prepared for. Her girlfriend/wife doesn't get along with me, which has created a rift that keeps us from feeling together as a family. It’s sad to come to terms with the heartache of losses that haven't been handled respectfully. I feel as if I lost everything I had when I moved to California all those years ago.
The values of love, closeness, and respect surpass any trail-blazing experiences we might have in other cities or states. In the end, I feel as though I lost it all. I didn't even choose to move to California as a teenager; I was forced to go. My reality turned into a nightmare, and if I could take it all back, I would never have left.
Thank you for sharing this. It sounds like you've carried so much, and I’m really sorry for all the pain you’ve experienced. Family rifts and forced moves are so difficult to come to terms with, even through the years. I feel you. Sending you all my love!
Thank you, I didn't intend to be so forthcoming. Something has been weighing on my heart and I felt comfortable enough to express my sadness. Your self-sufficiency and enthusiasm for new experiences have become my current aspirations. You have shown me the importance of prioritizing one's own happiness, allowing other worthwhile things to fall into place. I'm leaving the big city in San Jose, for the San Luis Obispo/beach, my happy place.
Family stuff is so tough, I completely get it. I'm currently in the business of rebuilding some bridges myself, it's difficult. Your comment is so thoughtful, thank you for the kind words! You can't give from an empty cup, your happiness is very important!
Also, San Luis Obispo is probably one of the prettiest places I've ever visited. I'd move there in a heartbeat. I'm so happy for you!!!
A profound, passionate and elegantly written “Coming to Terms” desire to DO New York. As a Washingtonian who has embraced the “City that Never Sleeps” for 16 years and counting, your essay Speaks to Me. I wish to make a copy and hold it close. MORE later 😎…
Antonina, you encouraged me to subscribe to Substack even though I have been following for months and I am learning how to make good use of this app. Is there any way to print your fabulous essay?
Sharron, I'm so glad the essay speaks to you, I am convinced that New Yorkers are born all over the country/world, just waiting for the right moment to make this city their home. You are definitely a New Yorker in my book!
‘The city attracts romantic realists: people who still believe in the magic of possibility.’ I just adore this! 🤍
Thank you, Jenna!
Hi Antonina,
I’ve been reading and enjoying your emails for about a year now, and for me this is absolute your best at wonderfully and insightfully describing what makes New York City, NYC. So many good descriptions here that are spot on! I also collect and read many books on New York. This essay could be and should be right next to them. I’ll probably print it out actually and keep it with my library. I live in New York City for many decades now, and had a business selling photographs which catered to exactly the feelings you’re describing, and that’s why people bought them. Shockingly for a while there during Covid I actually feared that all of these aspects of New York City were ending , (and I grieved that like the city was a person) so I’m incredibly happy to see they’re alive and well for your new generation. Hallelujah! Grab it with both hands!! - T. Alex Benjamin (Are you on Instagram also)?
Wow, your message made my day. Thank you! I’m so honored that you’d consider printing out the essay and adding it to your NYC library — truly, there’s no higher compliment for someone who loves writing about the city. I can only imagine how great stories you must have after decades here, I would love to see your photos (please share your website if you're comfortable with that!).
Also, I know exactly what you mean about grieving the city like a person during Covid, I completely agree! I'm grateful every day that I get to be here, documenting it through all the changes.
And yes, I am on Instagram! I'm not very active though (haven't logged on since December). You can find me at @antoninapattiz.
Thank you again for reading and for this generous note. It means more than you know.
Wow! this is the best article I've ever read about the "New York feeling". As always say in my comments to you, thanks for share it and thanks for all your words.
Fav paragraph: "People who are a bundle of contradictions. Those who are hopeful but not naive, tough but not unfeeling, independent but craving community. People who willingly trade comfort for the thrill of the unknown."
That means a lot to me, especially coming from a longtime reader like you who always leaves such thoughtful comments. I’m really glad that paragraph stood out to you. It felt like the heart of what I was trying to say, and it’s always special to know it resonated. Thank you so much!!
I understand what it’s like to leave your old life. My Mom was like yours. . When r u coming home?
I left my family in upstate NY & moved to Tn to b with my childhood sweetheart ( definitely not NYC)
We worked for a tour company for 20 yr. Have been to NYC about 60 times. & it always feels like we r coming home. We knew the man who ran u favorite pizza place. & knew where the bellmen at the Edison hotel lived. On our nights off we explored many of the neighborhoods. NYC is the greatest world within a city. You go there not asking what can I do here but rather what do I want to do here.
We r in r mid 70’s. So r trip in Aug. to NYC will be our last 😢😢.
Your latest post was very reflective on life in the city & we get it. You are a great writer & we truly do enjoy your pictures , posts & thoughts
We are happy for that u are able to live your dream
Keep at it
Loves those toes 😂😂
Kathy & Milt
Kathy & Milt, I’m convinced you’re true New Yorkers at heart. What an opportunity you’ve had—60 visits is incredible! I love how you described NYC as a world within a city because that’s exactly how it feels. And I couldn't agree more with this: "You go there not asking what can I do here but rather what do I want to do here."
I'm grateful to be part of your final trip in August in even a small way. But you better believe I’ll be sharing plenty of NYC photos long after your visit. I'll be keeping you in mind while doing so, so we can enjoy the city together. ❤️
And yes, yes, yes to the baby toes, nothing better!
I often find myself reflecting on why I left Michigan for California and why I long to return there. However, I realize that I am not yearning for the past I left behind. The crime and the loss of family members have haunted me one by one for the past 30 years, making it impossible to go back home. I felt stuck in a world I thought I would enjoy, but it turned out to be a nightmare in many ways.
On another note, my adult daughter moved to Oregon and had a baby, a situation I wasn't prepared for. Her girlfriend/wife doesn't get along with me, which has created a rift that keeps us from feeling together as a family. It’s sad to come to terms with the heartache of losses that haven't been handled respectfully. I feel as if I lost everything I had when I moved to California all those years ago.
The values of love, closeness, and respect surpass any trail-blazing experiences we might have in other cities or states. In the end, I feel as though I lost it all. I didn't even choose to move to California as a teenager; I was forced to go. My reality turned into a nightmare, and if I could take it all back, I would never have left.
Thank you for sharing this. It sounds like you've carried so much, and I’m really sorry for all the pain you’ve experienced. Family rifts and forced moves are so difficult to come to terms with, even through the years. I feel you. Sending you all my love!
Thank you, I didn't intend to be so forthcoming. Something has been weighing on my heart and I felt comfortable enough to express my sadness. Your self-sufficiency and enthusiasm for new experiences have become my current aspirations. You have shown me the importance of prioritizing one's own happiness, allowing other worthwhile things to fall into place. I'm leaving the big city in San Jose, for the San Luis Obispo/beach, my happy place.
Family stuff is so tough, I completely get it. I'm currently in the business of rebuilding some bridges myself, it's difficult. Your comment is so thoughtful, thank you for the kind words! You can't give from an empty cup, your happiness is very important!
Also, San Luis Obispo is probably one of the prettiest places I've ever visited. I'd move there in a heartbeat. I'm so happy for you!!!
Love this!
Thanks, Harrison!
Hi loved the latest pic. Can’t wait to get to the city on 8/16 & spend 4 days there celebrating r 45 th anniv
How much does it cost to subscribe to your site & how do I pay for it
Antonina,
A profound, passionate and elegantly written “Coming to Terms” desire to DO New York. As a Washingtonian who has embraced the “City that Never Sleeps” for 16 years and counting, your essay Speaks to Me. I wish to make a copy and hold it close. MORE later 😎…
Antonina, you encouraged me to subscribe to Substack even though I have been following for months and I am learning how to make good use of this app. Is there any way to print your fabulous essay?
For you? Anything! I'm not sure how to export the file in substack so I sent it to your email.
Sharron, I'm so glad the essay speaks to you, I am convinced that New Yorkers are born all over the country/world, just waiting for the right moment to make this city their home. You are definitely a New Yorker in my book!